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gas

Unger Suspicion

Bloated Gassy Tourist Rushes for Nearest ‘Ausfahrt’

January 24, 2025 Andrew

MUNICH, GERMANY On a recent trip to Germany this winter, all the hearty schnitzels and sausages had Canadian tourist Pete Dueck, 47, in a constant need to break wind. “And the first thing I noticed […]

Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Drives 900 Kilometres to Save 5 Cents a Litre at Rosthern Gas Station

August 8, 2023 Andrew

ROSTHERN, SK When Wilbert Peters of Altona, Manitoba found out from his Saskatchewan cousin Fred Olfert that gas was a full five cents a litre cheaper in Rosthern, he immediately set out on a daylong […]

The Daily Bonnet

Engaged Woman Struggles to Keep from Farting in Front of Her Fiancé

June 8, 2023 Andrew

KLEEFELD, MB With his three weeks to go before the wedding, Sandra Kliewer is struggling to prevent herself from farting in front of her soon-to-be husband. “We started dating a year ago, so it’s been […]

The Daily Bonnet

Chaste Young Mennonite Man Fully Intends to Pay Before He Pumps

June 2, 2023 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Area man Guillermo Wiens, 19, was absolutely flummoxed by the “pay before you pump” sign at the local gas station this afternoon. “Why would such a sign even be necessary?” wondered Wiens. “What […]

Unger & Thirst

Biden Weighs Nationwide Ban on Gassy Mennonite Food

January 13, 2023 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC Republicans are up in arms this week as the Biden administration is reportedly considering banning “gassy Mennonite food like schmaunt fat, formavorscht, and all those fried onions they like to put on the […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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