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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Family Working on Same Jigsaw Puzzle Since 1987

January 6, 2020 Andrew

DIDSBURY, AB The Epp family of Didsbury has been working on the same 1,000 piece jigsaw puzzle since the Easter gathering of 1987. “We’ve still got a ways to go,” said Grandma Epp, 93. “Since […]

The Daily Bonnet

Uncle Henry Caught Shooting from the Front Line

November 24, 2019 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON Uncle Henry has been arrested and is being held in the local Mennonite church basement this week after being caught shooting from the top of five-point zone. “I’ve always wondered how he got […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Introduces New Social Network Called ‘Knipschat’

July 3, 2019 Andrew

WINKLER, MB From the heart of the Mennonite Silicon Valley comes a brand new social network called ‘Knipschat.’ The new app allows users to post pictures of themselves knipsing, knitting, or knoodeling. “The best thing […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Scores Historic Victory on ‘Jeopardy!’

June 5, 2019 Andrew

CULVER CITY, CA Mrs. Lina Dueck, 31, outwitted Abe Hiebert this past week, ending Abe’s reign of more than 30 games to become the new Jeopardy! champion. “He made a risky gamble on that hog […]

The Daily Bonnet

Death Plays Crokinole Game for Mennonite Man’s Life

March 23, 2019 Andrew

WATERLOO, ON The Grim Reaper, aka Death, appeared to Mr. Snyder in Waterloo this weekend intent on taking him with him. Mr. Snyder, however, knowing that Death had a competitive streak, challenged him to a […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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