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funeral

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Sucks Down Fifty Sugar Cubes During Funeral Reception

June 2, 2019 Andrew

REINFELD, MB Mr. Buhler, 71, set a new Mennonite record after consuming more than fifty sugar cubes dipped in coffee at the funeral reception of Mr. Kehler. “You should have seen that man. Sugar cube […]

Unger Suspicion

Local Woman Dies While On Hold With Phone Company

May 8, 2019 Andrew

PANSY, MB Local woman Mrs. Goerzen passed away this week after a long and courageous battle to change her data package with her service provider. Goerzen was reportedly on hold with the company since early […]

The Daily Bonnet

Now that Grandma’s Passed, the Hieberts Can Finally Stop Having So Many Family Gatherings

June 26, 2018 Andrew

LINDEN, AB Although nothing has been officially decided, it’s quite clear from the sense of relief that has swept over the Hiebert clan, that we won’t be having another Hiebert gathering anytime soon. Now that […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Pickle Juice Used to Preserve Vladimir Lenin’s Body

March 21, 2018 Andrew

MOSCOW, RUSSIA The body of Soviet dictator Vladimir Lenin has been preserved in a Moscow mausoleum since his death in 1924. While many have speculated as to the methods used to keep the body in […]

The Daily Bonnet

A Gallery of Hilarious Mennonite Gravestones

January 1, 2018 Andrew

One of the best ways to learn about your history and heritage is to take a walk through one of the local cemeteries. You may be shocked at what you find. Here are some of […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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