The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger

funeral

Unger & Thirst

Funeral Cancelled After Bridge Fire Cuts Off Cheese Curd Supply

May 11, 2023 Andrew

NEW BOTHWELL, MB Funerals in the area were cancelled today after a bridge fire cut off access to the cheese curd factory in New Bothwell. “Jauma, no cheese curds? Looks like we’ll have to postpone […]

Unger & Thirst

Raisin Buns at Church Lunch Seen as ‘Really Bad Omen’

April 6, 2023 Andrew

KLEEFELD, MB As the Kleefeld MBCC church gathered for their spring lunch this week, many Mennonites felt a little uneasy as each table had a basket of raisin buns. “What are they trying to tell […]

Unger Suspicion

Hundreds of Canadian Politicians to “Mourn the Queen” at the Lake this Monday While Everyone Else Works

September 14, 2022 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Politicians across Canada are so heartbroken over the death of Her Majesty that they’ve decided that what they really need is a nice long weekend while everyone else is working. “Ahh, it sure […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Sours the Mood at Local Funeral by Hoarding All the Pickles and Decaf

October 24, 2020 Andrew

GREENLAND, MB Thousands of Toewses descended on Greenland, Manitoba this week for the latest Toews funeral and were shocked to discover the absence of dill pickles. “Okay, so I’ve got my cubed cheese, deli meat […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Attends Funerals Just for All the Free Food

September 29, 2019 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Mrs. Doerksen has a busy funeral schedule this week attending all the funerals of people with whom she had only marginal acquaintance. “It’s a good place to stock up on cheese curds and […]

Posts pagination

« 1 2 3 … 5 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Church Worship Team Replaced With U2 Cover Band
    July 5, 2017
  • Mennonite Woman Spends Ten Hours Trying to Figure Out Who Unfriended Her
    February 1, 2019
  • Shunned Mennonites Feeling Super Safe Right Now
    March 18, 2020
  • Mennonite Brethren and General Conference Sign Massive Free Trade Deal
    October 13, 2017
  • Mennonite Woman Still Writing Her Cheques for 2018
    January 13, 2019

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2026 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved