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frugality

Unger Suspicion

‘Rage Against the Machine’ Smashes Capitalism with $300 Concert Tickets

February 13, 2020 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB With ticket prices starting at $190 for nosebleed seats and soaring upwards from there, legendary leftist rap metal band Rage Against the Machine has successfully reached its target audience: the bourgeoisie. “We’ve always […]

Unger Suspicion

Angry Mob Demands that Trudeau Subsist Entirely on Timbits

January 21, 2020 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Typical Canada. Donuts made headlines across the nation today. “We interrupt our coverage of various real tragedies and important situations around the globe to bring you this important news about donuts!” Thousands of […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Claims to be Man to Get Cheaper Haircut

December 5, 2019 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Taunte Lina waltzed into her local Snips ‘n Go salon this past Tuesday for her weekly haircut, only this time things were a little different when she went to the till to pay. […]

Unger Suspicion

Local Mall Offering Free Stretcher Service for Shoppers During Holiday Season

December 1, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Beginning with Black Friday and ending on Christmas Eve, the Frosty Shores Mall in Winnipeg will be offering customers free gift wrapping, parking validation, and an escort out of the building on a […]

Unger & Thirst

“Buying Crackers is For Suckers!” Claims Mennonite Woman

November 19, 2019 Andrew

CARMAN,MB Local woman Mrs. Schellenberg, 68, of Carman has amassed a stockpile of more than 10,000 packages of Premium Plus crackers that she’s swiped from local restaurants over the past twenty years. “Buying crackers is […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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