The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger

faspa

Unger & Thirst

City’s Top Chef Mortified to Discover His ‘Charcuterie Board’ is Just Glorified Faspa

May 21, 2021 Andrew

VANCOUVER, BC The chef at Vancouver’s top restaurant has been feeding the city’s elite for years with his delectable selection of charcuterie. Unfortunately, chef Pierre’s ego took a big hit this weekend after a trip […]

Unger & Thirst

Archaeologists Uncover ‘Mennonite Faspa’ Frozen in Pompeii Ash

December 29, 2020 Andrew

NAPLES, ITALY A newly uncovered food stall frozen in time in the ruined city of Pompeii reveals that ancient Romans had a penchant for fresh Bothwell cheese curds and rolled up slices of ham held […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Sours the Mood at Local Funeral by Hoarding All the Pickles and Decaf

October 24, 2020 Andrew

GREENLAND, MB Thousands of Toewses descended on Greenland, Manitoba this week for the latest Toews funeral and were shocked to discover the absence of dill pickles. “Okay, so I’ve got my cubed cheese, deli meat […]

Unger & Thirst

Local Church to Host Weekly ‘Superspreader Potluck’

October 16, 2020 Andrew

SCHRATJLIJCH, ON The Schratjlijch Gospel Church is spreading more than just the good news this week after Pastor Dave announced the congregation would be hosting a weekly ‘Superspreader Potluck’ starting this Sunday at 12:30 right […]

Unger & Thirst

“Immodest” Mennonite Woman Leaves Her Zwieback Out for All to See

August 30, 2020 Andrew

OSTERWICK, MB Residents of Osterwick were in shock this afternoon after a fresh and delectable zwieback baked by Mrs. Loewen was left out on the table in the church basement all afternoon. “It’s simply not […]

Posts pagination

« 1 2 3 4 … 6 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Mennonite Man Finally Returns His Empties
    April 20, 2019
  • Fight Breaks Out Over Coat at Local Thrift Store
    November 25, 2021
  • City of Steinbach Issues ‘Boil Schmaunt Fat’ Advisory
    April 21, 2026
  • Pink Whitney Discovered in Mrs. Loewen’s Thermos
    August 13, 2021
  • Mennonite Man Starts Innovative New Jazz Label ‘EMC Records’ Guaranteed to Have No Sax
    January 8, 2024

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2026 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved