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fashion

Unger Suspicion

Newborn Begs to Go Back In After Seeing Dad’s Face

September 21, 2017 Andrew

GNADENSCHANTZ, SK At the tender age of just six-and-a-half minutes, young Jebediah Neufeld let out a blood-curdling scream and begged to go back in the womb after witnessing his father’s face for the first time. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Town Bans Wearing Socks with Sandals

September 13, 2017 Andrew

ST. JACOBS, ON Disregarding centuries of Mennonite tradition, the small Anabaptist town of St. Jacobs, Ontario just passed a law banning the wearing of socks with sandals. The new legislation sent shockwaves across the Mennonite […]

Unger Conviction

Worship Pastor Fired for Plunging V-Neck Shirt

July 12, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Local worship pastor Drake Warkentin-Blatz, 25, was fired this past week after disregarding a set of recommendations regarding his attire, which included refraining from ever wearing a V-neck T-shirt in church again. Warkentin-Blatz […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Grandmas Awarded $3 Billion in Man Bun Lawsuit

April 22, 2017 Andrew

VANCOUVER, BC After an exhausting three-month class action lawsuit, a BC patent court has ruled in favour of Mennonite Grandmas over the use of the man bun. The court awarded the Grandmas $3.2 billion in […]

The Daily Bonnet

Winter Fashion Forecast: Long Johns All the Rage This Year

December 18, 2016 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Fashion industry insiders are predicting a surge in the sale of long underwear this winter. There was a time when this garment, “long johns” as they are sometimes called by Canadians and/or Mennonites, […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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