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Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Child Opens Lunch Box to Find a Lard Sandwich Yet Again Today

May 10, 2019 Andrew

HOCHFELD, SK Little Earl Petkau could hardly wait to open up his Patridge Family lunch box and search around to see what his mom had packed him. Unfortunately, Earl’s hopes were quickly dashed as mom […]

Unger Conviction

Church Launches New Program: ‘Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner and Staying All Night?’

May 7, 2019 Andrew

NEWTON, KS The Newton New Mennonite Church has just launched an innovative new program meant to encourage church-goers to get to know each other better. In the program, members sign up to host perfect strangers […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Couple Come Late to Church and Have to Settle for Front Row

April 17, 2019 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK The Driedgers of Saskatoon had a pretty hectic morning this Sunday when the toaster didn’t work, the hot water tank blew up and they just had to squeeze in a quick meddachschlop right […]

Unger & Thirst

Children Not So Happy After Dad Drives Off with Happy Meals on the Roof of His Car

April 14, 2019 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON Mr. Earl Penner had some explaining to do after he inadvertently drove off with the kid’s Happy Meals on the roof of his car. “I came home and I was, like, ‘Well, we’ve […]

Unger Games

Winnipeg Jets Players Required to Sleep with Plastic Sheets on their Beds

April 12, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After yet another horrid performance tonight, the mothers of all the Winnipeg Jets players have required their sons to sleep with plastic sheets on their beds from now on. “I know they’re grown […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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