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family gathering

The Daily Bonnet

Ugly Christmas Sweater Party…or Mennonite Family Gathering?

December 28, 2016 Andrew

CORN, OK Unintentionally ugly Christmas sweaters were on full display at the Kliewer family Christmas gathering this past week. Only Grandma Kliewer was unaware of just how hideous the sweaters were. “I’m so glad to […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mistletoe Creates Awkward Moments at Mennonite Family Gathering

December 27, 2016 Andrew

REICHENBACH, MB The presence of mistletoe at the Epp family Christmas gathering this past week, caused quite the number of awkward moments for the Epp cousins. “I don’t know why Oma insists on putting mistletoe all […]

Unger & Thirst

Massive Amounts of Halva Left Over Yet Again This Year

December 25, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB For some odd reason, the mysterious sandy substance known as halva has become a Mennonite delicacy every Christmas. Yet, like always, Grandma Loewen vastly over-estimated the grandkids’ desire to eat the dry paste. “Juama […]

Unger & Thirst

Descendants of Penner Foods Employees to Gather in Steinbach

May 28, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB According to local historian Johan R. Vogt, the romantic relationships established at Penner Foods during the 60s, 70s, 80s, and 90s have resulted in over 100,000 children. Penner’s Children, as they call themselves, […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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