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elon musk

Unger Suspicion

Elon Musk Offers $1 Million to Anyone Who Can Pry His Hands from Skinny Jeans

October 25, 2024 Andrew

SAN FRANCISCO, CA Billionaire Elon Musk is offering $1 million to anyone who is able to pry his hands from a particularly tight pair of skinny jeans he’s been sporting for the past year or […]

Unger Suspicion

Twitter Unveils New Logo

July 24, 2023 Andrew

SAN FRANCISCO, CA There have been a lot changes over at Twitter since Elon Musk took over including, but not limited to, a brand new logo that looks eerily familiar to neighbouring Mennonites over in […]

Unger Suspicion

Poll: Should Elon Musk Take Over The Daily Bonnet?

December 21, 2022 Andrew

Waut es met die? This poll is absolutely binding. Whatever you say goes. It’s a democracy. Just like a Mennonite elder board meeting. So the question is – should Elon Musk be given full control […]

Unger Conviction

Elon Musk Buys Mennonite Church, Appoints Himself Pastor

November 2, 2022 Andrew

FRESNO, CA Elon Musk is on a buying spree it seems, as reports out of Fresno, California this week indicate the billionaire has recently purchased the local MB church, fired all the staff, and appointed […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Sells Margarine Container to Elon Musk for $44 Billion

April 29, 2022 Andrew

FRESNO, CA After months of heated negotiation, Mrs. Eleanor Brandt of Fresno just sold her top margarine container to investor Elon Musk for a record $44 billion. “He took it no questions asked,” said Mrs […]

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