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Unger Conviction

Church Approves Muting Pastor’s Mic at Upcoming Service

October 22, 2020 Andrew

NASHVILLE, TN Attendees at the upcoming South Nashville Mennonite Church service this Sunday will be given the ability to mute the pastor whenever they think he’s off base or speaking out of turn. “After last […]

Unger Suspicion

White House Running Critically Low on Toilet Paper and Bleach

October 6, 2020 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC Toilet paper and bleach supplies are running critically low at the White House this week after the “royal family” and all their staff came down with some mysterious condition that only toilet paper […]

Unger Conviction

Chris Wallace to Moderate Upcoming Mennonite Church Board Meeting

September 30, 2020 Andrew

AKRON, PA After a stellar performance at the Presidential debate in which he always had things under complete control, Fox News anchor Chris Wallace has been tasked with his biggest challenge yet: moderating an upcoming […]

Unger Suspicion

In Trying Times, Americans Always Put Forward Their Very Brightest and Best

April 8, 2020 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC In these dark and challenging times the American people have scoured the nation to find the very best two possible candidates to lead the country through this difficult period. “Normally we just pick […]

Unger Conviction

Elder Board Acquits Mennonite Pastor of Bribing Mrs. Friesen

February 7, 2020 Andrew

ROSENHOF, MB After the Faspa Committee overwhelmingly voted to oust Pastor Ron for allegedly bribing Mrs. Friesen to make fried rather than boiled vereniki at last Sunday’s luncheon, the West Rosenhof MGM Grand Church elder […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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