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donald trump

Unger Conviction

Chris Wallace to Moderate Upcoming Mennonite Church Board Meeting

September 30, 2020 Andrew

AKRON, PA After a stellar performance at the Presidential debate in which he always had things under complete control, Fox News anchor Chris Wallace has been tasked with his biggest challenge yet: moderating an upcoming […]

Unger Suspicion

In Trying Times, Americans Always Put Forward Their Very Brightest and Best

April 8, 2020 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC In these dark and challenging times the American people have scoured the nation to find the very best two possible candidates to lead the country through this difficult period. “Normally we just pick […]

Unger Conviction

Elder Board Acquits Mennonite Pastor of Bribing Mrs. Friesen

February 7, 2020 Andrew

ROSENHOF, MB After the Faspa Committee overwhelmingly voted to oust Pastor Ron for allegedly bribing Mrs. Friesen to make fried rather than boiled vereniki at last Sunday’s luncheon, the West Rosenhof MGM Grand Church elder […]

Unger Games

United States Senate to Perform at Super Bowl Halftime Show

February 1, 2020 Andrew

MIAMI GARDENS, FL Attendees at Super Bowl LIV on Sunday are in for a real treat as the entire US Senate will be performing at what is being hyped as the greatest halftime show ever. […]

Unger Suspicion

Americans Feel So Much Safer After Assassination of Some Guy They Never Heard of Before

January 4, 2020 Andrew

SEMINOLE, TX Mr. Dueck of Seminole is breathing a sigh of relief this morning after it was revealed that some guy he’d never heard of before was now dead. “Finally I can sleep at night!” […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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