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diet

Unger & Thirst

Health Conscious Mennonite Woman Opts for ‘Diet Papsi’

July 4, 2024 Andrew

LINDEN, AB Area woman Agnes Epp, 71, has decided to make a few changes in her life, including reducing her sugar intake. “So that’s why I’ve gone over to the Diet Papsi,” said Epp. “Do […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Excited that Province has Opened Things Up for ‘El Fresca’ Dining

March 21, 2021 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Eleanor Loewen, 71, of North Kildonan is eager to take her 2L bottles of sugar free Fresca to one of those patios on Corydon this weekend, after the province announced she was now […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Cooking to Be Rebranded as ‘Keto Diet’

November 27, 2018 Andrew

ALTONA, MB In an effort to capitalize on the latest fad diet, the ladies at the local Mennonite church have decided to rebrand ‘The EMMC Ladies Cookbook’ as simply ‘Cooking Keto.’ The ladies decided to […]

Unger & Thirst

A Calorie Guide to Mennonite Cooking

September 16, 2017 Andrew

In the days before we became lazy and assimilated, Mennonites wouldn’t concern themselves with such things. We worked hard all day on the farm, where we could easily sweat out even the very fattiest of […]

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  • Mennonite Woman Shunned for Marrying Outside Her Precise Denominational Affiliation
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  • Federal Government Borrows $400 Billion from Industrious Mennonite Farmer
    April 25, 2021
  • Mennonite Church Suspends Man 41 Weeks for Using Playing Cards
    October 28, 2023

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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