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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Swipes Right on Her Own Cousin

June 14, 2020 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB Melissa Epp, 20, of La Crete, Alberta was casually scrolling Tinder last night when she stopped on a dreamy young man from Cuauhtémoc who looked to be just her type. “So, naturally […]

Unger Conviction

Bible School Expands ‘Six Inch Rule’ to ‘Six Foot Rule’

March 15, 2020 Andrew

FOUR MOUNTAINS, BC A local Bible school is taking drastic measures to prevent the spread of the pandemic by expanding the six-inch buffer zone between opposite-gender students to a full six feet. “We’ve always taken […]

The Daily Bonnet

Where did you meet your Mennonite spouse?

August 27, 2019 Andrew

There are only so many places that Mennonites meet. In order to get a better sense of just where these meetings occur, the Daily Bonnet Sociological Society has established this survey. So, where did you […]

Unger & Thirst

Sound of Knacking Zoat Used as Mennonite Mating Call

May 2, 2019 Andrew

GRUNTHAL, MB Young Mennonite men throughout the Grunthal region, including Gnadenfeld, Kronsgard, and Alt-Bergfeld, have been loudly knacking their zoat on the back of Ernie Friesen’s pick-up truck this weekend in hopes of attracting eligible […]

The Daily Bonnet

Dating Mennonite Couple Solidify Relationship By Sharing Co-op Number

April 28, 2019 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Corny Wall of Winkler shared with Co-op number with his girlfriend Aganetha this week, a gesture that has sent rumours through the community. “I wouldn’t be surprised if one of these Sunday’s after […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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