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curling

Unger Games

Steinbach Mayor Wins Grand Slam of Butchering

January 12, 2026 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB After fierce competition all week, Steinbach mayor Earl Funk came home with gold medal in the Grand Slam of Butchering this week. “His farmer sausages in the 8th end were what really did […]

Unger Games

Mennonites Excited for Grand Slam of Curling in Steinbach

January 3, 2026 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Curling fans from across the world will be descending on the small Mennonite community of Steinbach this week to witness the curling elite in action. “Normally we just get to see Mrs. Loewen’s […]

Unger Games

Curling Match Cancelled After Mennonite Men Refuse to Cast the First Stone

September 23, 2023 Andrew

ALTONA, MB The curling season in Altona, Manitoba has been postponed this weekend after Mr. Plett and Mr. Kroeker both refused to cast the first stone. “I blame Pastor Ron,” said local curling fan Dave […]

Unger Games

Jennifer Jones Finds Curlers in Altona

February 22, 2023 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Manitoba’s greatest athlete Jennifer Jones has scoured the province for curlers and managed to find a pair in Altona of all places. “People kept telling me, ‘Jennifer, if you want a set of […]

Unger Games

Canadian Supreme Court Rules ‘Curling is a Real Sport’

October 4, 2022 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON In a 6-3 decision, the Supreme Court of Canada ruled today that “curling is actually a real sport, eh.” “Weighing all the evidence, it’s quite clear that curling is a sport,” said Judge […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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