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crokinole

Unger & Thirst

Mennonites Have No Place to Store their Crokinole Pieces After Crown Royal Plant Shuts Down

December 1, 2025 Andrew

ST. CATHERINES, ON Thousands of Mennonites across Ontario have joined Premier Doug Ford in dumping all the Crown Royal they weren’t intending on drinking anyway. “I use it for cooking or medicinal purposes only,” said […]

Unger Games

20-Knipser Pileup Just Outside Blumenort

November 9, 2025 Andrew

BLUMENORT, MB Bad weather this weekend led to a massive pileup of knipsers in the Blumenort church basement multi-purpose room. “First there were just one or two knipsers in the 15-point zone, but it didn’t […]

Unger the Influence

G7 Summit to Feature Crokinole Tournament

June 14, 2025 Andrew

KANANASKIS, AB After months of hostility and chaos across the globe, G7 leaders have decided to cool things down a little in Kananaskis with a nice friendly crokinole tournament. “And the winner gets Greenland,” said […]

Unger the Influence

Crokinole Board Hauled Out to Quiet Divisive Political Discussions

December 29, 2024 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC The political discussions got so heated at the Loewen gathering this past week, that Mrs. Annie Loewen decided “enough was enough,” and decided to haul out the kjnipsbrat, which studies have shown is […]

Unger Games

LeBron James Quits Basketball to Take on New Challenge: Crokinole

February 8, 2023 Andrew

LOS ANGELES, CA Moments after setting the NBA All-Time scoring record and solidifying his place as the GOAT of basketball, LeBron James decided to retire from the sport to take on the greatest challenge of […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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