The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger

crime

Unger Suspicion

Winnipeg Man Gets 20 Years in Prison for Stealing A&W Mug

March 29, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB A 40-year-old man from Winnipeg was sentenced to twenty years in a maximum security prison this week for stealing an A&W root beer mug back in 1998. “For years it was a cold […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Attempts to Outdo Florida Man

March 22, 2019 Andrew

GOESSEL, KS Distraught at all the publicity this ‘Florida Man’ has been getting as of late, Colin Wiens, 22, of Goessel, Kansas decided he was going to get his name on the front page of […]

Unger Suspicion

New Huawei Phones Capable of Taking ‘Totally Amazing Photos’ of their Own Executive’s Arrest and Extradition!

December 13, 2018 Andrew

VANCOUVER, BC Chinese electronics giant Huawei is really proud of the amazing 48 MP capabilities of their Mate 20 Pro, a phone that’s being marketed as “the only smartphone to capture those stunning images of […]

The Daily Bonnet

Thrift Store Prices Still Not Cheap Enough for Mennonite Thieves

November 6, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Soaring prices at local thrift stores have forced some unscrupulous Mennonites into shoplifting in order to obtain the rubber boots and crocheted doilies needed for bare survival. “When I saw the prices, I had no other choice,” […]

The Daily Bonnet

‘Acting like an idiot’: Mennonite Driver Clocked at Just 2.32 km/hr on Trans-Canada Highway

October 19, 2018 Andrew

THOMSON STATION, NS According to CBC News, a Mennonite driver vacationing in Nova Scotia this summer, was allegedly caught driving at over 2 km/h on the Trans-Canada Highway this week. “This is the fastest speed […]

Posts pagination

« 1 … 7 8 9 … 14 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Death Plays Crokinole Game for Mennonite Man’s Life
    March 23, 2019
  • Mennonite College Student Faints with Excitement at Hauerwas Lecture
    April 29, 2019
  • Grandpa Regales Youngsters With Tales of the Cash and Carry Toilet
    March 15, 2017
  • Missing Comma Causes Serious Concern for Mennonite Grandma
    April 10, 2021
  • Stage Fright Strikes Local Pastor Moments Before Altar Call
    April 14, 2018

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2026 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved