The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger

cousins

The Daily Bonnet

Penner and Penner to Breed Purebred Penner Children

June 3, 2017 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Local Winkler couple and not-so-distant cousins Colin Penner and Mary Penner, both in their mid-20s, are expecting a pair of purebred Penner children this fall. The exciting announcement was made at the church faspa last […]

The Daily Bonnet

60% of Manitobans Claim to be Cousins of Jonathan Toews

April 17, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB A new poll shows that just over 60% of the Manitoba population claims to be related to NHL star Jonathan Toews. “When you’ve got someone as famous as Jonathan Toews, suddenly everyone and […]

The Daily Bonnet

Divorced Mennonites Remain Cousins, Legal Expert Says

August 2, 2016 Andrew

HARRISONBURG, VA Settling an age-old question that had baffled legal scholars for centuries, renowned barrister and American law expert Aganetha L. Schneider of Harrisonburg claims there’s no longer any room for debate when it comes to Mennonite […]

The Daily Bonnet

New Policy Seen as an ‘Attack’ on Traditional Mennonite Cousin-Marriage

June 7, 2016 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON In 2005, the Liberal government of Canada changed the definition of marriage. At the time this was viewed by some as a “vicious attack” on the Mennonite tradition of marrying your own cousin. In recent years, […]

Posts pagination

« 1 2 3
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • A Post that is Certain to Please Absolutely Everyone
    November 11, 2017
  • Mennonite Man Creates Crokinole-Curling-Ice Fishing Hybrid
    January 28, 2017
  • Chaos Erupts After Pooper Scooper is Confused for BBQ Tongs
    May 22, 2017
  • ‘Mennonite’ and 7 Other Terms You Didn’t Know were Slurs
    November 19, 2024
  • ‘Unger’s Bible Dictionary’ Not Nearly As Hilarious As Mennonite Man Was Hoping
    October 13, 2020

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2025 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved