The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About The Unger Review
  • Andrew Unger

cousins

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Puts Cousin in the “Frintschoft Zone”

January 11, 2023 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON It was sad news for Danny Dueck, 23, this week, after his second cousin, Maria Dueck, 24, informed him that he had now been relegated to the frintschoft zone. “I could tell he […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Barely Recognizes Cousin He Hasn’t Seen Since Before the Pandemic

August 8, 2022 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB After not having seen his closest cousin in more than two years, local man Bob Peters walked right past cousin Tim in the knackzoat aisle at the Walmart this past week. “Oba […]

Unger Conviction

Child With Eyes Open During Prayer Spots Child With Eyes Open During Prayer

November 9, 2021 Andrew

MITCHELL, MB Lisa Plett, 7, of Mitchell had her eyes open during the pre-faspa prayer this Sunday just long enough to spot her cousins Timmy, Susie, and Anne, who also had their eyes open. “Mom! […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Marriage Counselor Advises Cousins to Stay Together

July 17, 2021 Andrew

NEWTON, KS Mr. and Mrs. Wiebe have been on the rocks for quite some time and have finally decided to seek cousin counselling. Thankfully, it looks like the relationship can be saved, thanks to the […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Swipes Right on Her Own Cousin

June 14, 2020 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB Melissa Epp, 20, of La Crete, Alberta was casually scrolling Tinder last night when she stopped on a dreamy young man from Cuauhtémoc who looked to be just her type. “So, naturally […]

Posts pagination

1 2 3 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Hypnotist Claims to Remove Mennonite Schmaunt Fat Cravings
    July 20, 2018
  • Snake Loose in Grunthal
    September 9, 2020
  • Outreach Event Fails After Toronto Mennonite Church Hosts Actual Blue Jay Watching Party
    October 8, 2022
  • Team Canada Loses to Blumenort Menno Knights
    December 28, 2024
  • Winter Fashion Forecast: Long Johns All the Rage This Year
    December 18, 2016

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2025 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved