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conservatives

Unger the Influence

Canadians Excited to Vote in Upcoming False Dichotomy

April 18, 2025 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK Voters across the country are gearing up for what just may be the most exciting and important False Dichotomy we’ve had in many decades. “It was really hard to decide who to vote […]

Unger the Influence

Capacity at Mulroney Funeral Reduced to 2 Seats

March 23, 2024 Andrew

MONTREAL, QC In honour of his unique legacy, specifically the 1993 election, the seating capacity at former Canadian Prime Minister Brian Mulroney’s funeral has been reduced to 2. “We know that the Notre Dame in […]

The Daily Bonnet

Winklerites Furious as Morden Woman Elected Leader

February 3, 2022 Andrew

WINKLER, MB A massive crowd of pickup trucks gathered at the Co-op in Winkler tonight to protest the selection of “a woman from Morden yet” as leader of the Conservatives. “Oba, nay, not Morden once […]

Unger & Thirst

Preservative Party of Canada to Select New Leader

August 21, 2020 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON After the resignation of a jar of Oma Friesen’s Dills a few months ago, the Preservative Party of Canada is currently voting-by-mail on a new leader. In the running are a bowl of […]

Quizzes

Which Mennonite MP Should Replace Andrew Scheer as Conservative Leader?

December 15, 2019 Andrew

Nah, oba, well, Mr. Scheer didn’t last very long as leader. Taunte Lina has been talking in the church lobby and has been trying to stir up support to get a Mennonite in there once. […]

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