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Nordstrom Sells $600 ‘Authentic Mennonite-Worn’ Dirty Jeans

April 27, 2017 Andrew

SEATTLE, WA Mennonite hog farmers across North America are ecstatic at the new opportunity to sell their old dirty sweaty jeans at a huge profit to Nordstrom. “I don’t know why those English want our […]

The Daily Bonnet

Wife Frustrated With Husband’s Inability to Take a Flattering Selfie

March 21, 2017 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Area woman Erin Peters, 31, became completely fed up this past weekend with her husband Bob’s complete inability to take an attractive selfie. “That man is totally inept when it comes to taking […]

The Daily Bonnet

Five Common Misconceptions About Mennonites

March 9, 2017 Andrew

To outsiders, Mennonites may seem like a perplexing group with peculiar customs. This unfamiliarity has caused a number of misconceptions about Mennonites. The Daily Bonnet is here to correct some of these errors. Misconception: Mennonites […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Woman Consults ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ for Wardrobe Advice

February 15, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Local senior, Helen Stoesz, was shocked by the misleading content of the popular book Fifty Shades of Grey, which she purchased used at the local MCC store hoping for advice on how to update her […]

The Daily Bonnet

Body Odour to be Bottled and Sold as ‘Eau de Menno’ Cologne

February 12, 2017 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON The body odour of dozens of hard-working Mennonite men has been extracted using a special process and been used to create a brand new cologne, which will be marketed and sold as Eau […]

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