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Unger Conviction

Massive Usher Shortage Shuts Down Mennonite Church this Summer

July 16, 2023 Andrew

YARROW, BC A Mennonite church in Yarrow, British Columbia has had to shutter its doors for the summer after they couldn’t find a single person willing to fold the bulletins or take Mrs. Driedger by […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church Buys Out Last Year of Pastor’s $40,000 Contract

June 30, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Abe Wieler, 36-year-old former pastor and floor hockey coach of Southeast Winnipeg Mennonite, will not be returning to captain the church next year after the church bought out his contract. “It’s going to […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Pastor Enters Sanctuary Hidden in a Broom Cart

June 28, 2023 Andrew

MOUNTAIN LAKE, MN The rumours are true. Video footage confirms this week that Mountain Lake’s most popular pastor Tyler Schmidt sneaks into the sanctuary each Sunday hidden in a broom cart. “Tyleeeeer! Tyleeeer!” screamed Mountain […]

Unger Conviction

Oba yo, Candice Bergen was right: Why We Know the Young People Really are “Brainwashed”

May 28, 2023 Andrew

BY: ABE FROM VANKLA Oba yo, I don’t normally agree with a woman, but this time I do. Candice Bergen is right! The young people these days. Diewel! I’m just glad someone was finally willing […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Church Accused of Serving Weak Coffee

November 20, 2022 Andrew

GNADENTHAL, MB An area Mennonite church has been called before the local ministerial this week for “watering down the true essence of our faith” by serving “such weak coffee that even the Lutherans would not […]

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