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church

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Pastor Scores with 1.6 Seconds Left Sending Sermon into Double Overtime

May 5, 2025 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB With just seconds to go in the service, Pastor Karl really laid home a particularly profound point about atonement that really got everyone fired up and eventually sent the sermon into double overtime. […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Man Fills Out Welcome Card in Pen, Fearing Usher Might Erase Prayer Requests

April 27, 2025 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK Area man Craig Peters, 48, asked his wife Lauren to fill her purse with ballpoint pens this Sunday to make sure his prayer requests got through. “I hear if you fill out the […]

Unger Conviction

Lukewarm Christian Has Only One Conservative Sign in His Yard

April 25, 2025 Andrew

NIVERVILLE, MB Rumours are swirling this week after area man Dave Dueck demonstrated an insufficient level of enthusiasm for the Conservative Party of Canada. “Everyone else has Ted Falk signs popping up like weeds,” said […]

Unger Conviction

Friendly Bulletins Welcome Lonely Hymnal

March 21, 2025 Andrew

LANDMARK, MB A pair of friendly bulletins were the first to volunteer when Pastor Bob hinted that someone needed to reach out and keep that lonely unused hymnal company. “We’re a welcoming church,” said Pastor […]

Unger Conviction

They’ve Totally Changed All the Lyrics to 606

February 17, 2025 Andrew

HARRISONBURG, VA After opening up their hymnals for the first time in several years, parishioners at the Central Harrisonburg Mennonite Church were mortified to discover that they’d totally changed nearly every single word in the […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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