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The Daily Bonnet

Winter Fashion Forecast: Long Johns All the Rage This Year

December 18, 2016 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Fashion industry insiders are predicting a surge in the sale of long underwear this winter. There was a time when this garment, “long johns” as they are sometimes called by Canadians and/or Mennonites, […]

Unger Conviction

Colicky Baby Jesus Completely Ruins Living Nativity

December 18, 2016 Andrew

GRUNTHAL, MB The annual living nativity was brought to a standstill last night after the young infant playing baby Jesus just didn’t stop crying. The incessant crying was so disruptive that the braying donkeys could scarcely […]

The Daily Bonnet

‘Hatchimal’ Shortage Doesn’t Faze Resourceful Mennonite Mom

December 11, 2016 Andrew

MORDEN, MB This year’s hottest Christmas toy, the ‘Hatchimal’, features a big plastic egg that, with care and attention, hatches open and reveals a plush animal. The toy has become so popular that many stores are […]

The Daily Bonnet

2016 Mennonite Christmas Shopping Guide – Ten Thousand Villages vs. Wal-Mart

December 10, 2016 Andrew

With the Christmas season fast approaching, Mennonites around the globe are faced with a quite the quandary about where to spend their holiday dollars (or guaraní). On the one hand, Mennonites are more-or-less obliged to get the […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonites Collect Hundreds of Empty Shoe Boxes to Send Overseas

October 23, 2016 Andrew

REINFELD, MB Generous Mennonites throughout the Reinfeld area will once again be collecting empty shoeboxes this year to send to needy children in time for the holidays. “Many people stuff the shoeboxes with clothes, books, and other […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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