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Unger Games

Fred Penner and Al Simmons to Square Off in World Heavyweight Title

July 14, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Popular local children’s entertainers Fred Penner and Al Simmons will square off this fall to determine the World Heavyweight Champion. “I’ve got a lot of beefing up to do before then,” said Juno […]

Unger Conviction

Bible Camp Shuts Down After No One Memorizes Enough Verses to Attend

July 2, 2019 Andrew

LITTLE HAPPY MENNO BIBLE CAMP, ON Little Happy Menno Bible Camp in Northern Ontario has had to shut its doors this summer after not enough kids memorized their verses this year. “We kept lowering the […]

The Daily Bonnet

New York Girl Longs for a Life in Steinbach

June 18, 2019 Andrew

NEW YORK, NY 16-year-old Nicole, who has lived her entire life in the bustling heart of East Village in Manhattan, recently heard about this small town called Steinbach, which immediately spurred her imagination. “Sometimes I […]

The Daily Bonnet

Porch Swing Launches Mennonite Grandma into Neighbour’s Yard

May 23, 2019 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Mrs. Penner was sent flying into the Goosen’s yard last night after an overly vigorous session on the porch swing. “Oba, I was out tending the BBQ and I looked up and what […]

Unger & Thirst

Dentyne Gum Fails to Mask Aroma of Cigarettes on Mennonite Woman’s Breath

May 21, 2019 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON Pastor Dave busted more than three dozen members of his youth group this past week after they naively thought a few sticks of Dentyne gum would cover up the smell of their Marlboros. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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