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The Daily Bonnet

Steinbach Driver Given Five Demerits for ‘Driving Like a Steinbacher’

September 26, 2020 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Mr. Reimer was pulled over this week for ‘driving like he doesn’t know what the heck he’s doing’ aka ‘driving like a Steinbacher’. Reimer is a test subject for a new public safety […]

The Daily Bonnet

Parking Lot at Mennonite Retirement Home Completely Filled with Honda CR-Vs

September 14, 2020 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Both the surface lot and the underground parkade at Happy Menno adult living complex in Winkler were completely filled with Honda CR-Vs this weekend. “It was a sea of grey, white and blue […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mannanites Axcited for New Fast & Furious Movie: Main Street Steinbach Edition!

August 8, 2020 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Young Mannanite dads love to shirk their responsibilities at home and drive their Honda Civics and Mazda 3s down Main Street Steinbach all the time yet once. Their ability to maneuver used Japanese […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man’s Car Spotted in Liquor Store Parking Lot

May 27, 2020 Andrew

MORDEN, MB There’s a reason why Mennonites drive nondescript vehicles – so they don’t get identified in the liquor store parking lot. Well, obviously Mr. Wiens did not consider all the implications of his decision […]

The Daily Bonnet

Niverville Vows to Overtake Steinbach for Most Number of Traffic Lights

March 21, 2020 Andrew

NIVERVILLE, MB With its first traffic light forthcoming this summer, the town of Niverville is eager to surpass rival community Steinbach for the title of most traffic lights in the Southeast. “Sure, we’ve only got […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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