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cars

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man’s Car Spotted in Liquor Store Parking Lot

May 27, 2020 Andrew

MORDEN, MB There’s a reason why Mennonites drive nondescript vehicles – so they don’t get identified in the liquor store parking lot. Well, obviously Mr. Wiens did not consider all the implications of his decision […]

The Daily Bonnet

Niverville Vows to Overtake Steinbach for Most Number of Traffic Lights

March 21, 2020 Andrew

NIVERVILLE, MB With its first traffic light forthcoming this summer, the town of Niverville is eager to surpass rival community Steinbach for the title of most traffic lights in the Southeast. “Sure, we’ve only got […]

The Daily Bonnet

Enns Family Gets Their Own Special Crossing

September 27, 2019 Andrew

KLEINSTADT, MB The tiny Mennonite village of Kleinstadt, Manitoba has just unveiled a series of road crossings intended to serve the crossing needs of the Enns family. “There are so many Ennses around here, we […]

Unger Conviction

Snow Finally Melts Freeing Up Precious Spots in Church Parking Lot

April 23, 2019 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Every winter the parking situation at Altona Gospel Brethren Mennonite Fellowship Church becomes a bit awkward as a huge pile of snow accumulates on the lot and reduces the parking capacity by up […]

The Daily Bonnet

Left Lane Between Steinbach and Blumenort to be Designated “Slow Minivan Lane”

December 9, 2018 Andrew

BLUMENORT, MB After extensive traffic studies on Highway 12 north of Steinbach this summer, the Manitoba Road Authority has decided to designate the left lane to be used exclusively by families driving excruciatingly slow and/or […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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