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canning

Unger Games

Mennonite Woman Invents New Sport, ‘Dill Pickleball’

November 8, 2023 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Not content to play regular pickleball like the Englishers, area woman Ruth Loeppky is hoping a little dill and a lot of love will revolutionize recreation options in southern Manitoba. “Mennonites consume more […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Enters Guinness Book of Records for Rapid Meat Canning

March 20, 2022 Andrew

SMOKETOWN, PA Mrs. Sarah Glatfelter of Smoketown, Pennsylvania has entered the Guinness Book of Records after canning more than 100 cans of meat for MCC within just one hour. “I’ve never seen a Mennonite can […]

Unger & Thirst

Preservative Party of Canada to Select New Leader

August 21, 2020 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON After the resignation of a jar of Oma Friesen’s Dills a few months ago, the Preservative Party of Canada is currently voting-by-mail on a new leader. In the running are a bowl of […]

Unger & Thirst

Mysterious Jars in Cellar Turn Out to Contain Oma’s Delicious Green Bean Soup

November 30, 2019 Andrew

BLUMENORT, MB The Penners of Blumenort were excited to discover a huge collection of Oma’s delicious Jreen Schaubel Sup in the cellar this past week. The green bean soup had apparently been in there since the […]

Unger & Thirst

Fraser Valley Mennonites Survive Winter on Nothing but Raspberry Preserves

March 31, 2017 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC Mennonite across the Fraser Valley have made it through yet another winter thanks to their bountiful supply of raspberry and strawberry preserves. “Thank the Lord that my grandma taught me canning,” said local woman Alexis Friesen, […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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