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canada

Unger Suspicion

Sad Lonely Canadian Man Still Watching Hockey for Some Reason

May 1, 2019 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Darrel Schmidt, 41, of Toronto is still “really into” the NHL playoffs despite the fact that any real reason to follow hockey ended sometime last week. “After the Maple Leafs are out and […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mrs. Reimer Still Refers to Mrs. Ens as a “Russlander”

April 5, 2019 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Even though their families came from the exact same colonies in Russia, for some reason the Mennonites who arrived in Canada a few decades earlier referred to the newcomers in the 1920s as […]

Unger Suspicion

Petition Calls for Entire State of Minnesota to Join Canada

January 7, 2019 Andrew

ST. PAUL, MN Already at more than 7,000 signatures, a binding online petition, will see the entire state of Minnesota join its neighbour to the north when it reaches the 10,000 signature threshold. “I’ve always […]

Unger Suspicion

Canada Pays Off Entire Federal Debt One Day After Marijuana Legalization

October 18, 2018 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Less than 24 hours after cannabis became legal in Canada, the federal government announced they had made so much money in tax revenue from the sale of legal weed that they were able […]

Unger Suspicion

Saudi Arabia to Remove All Statues of Justin Trudeau

August 14, 2018 Andrew

RIYADH, SAUDI ARABIA After an online Twitter war with the Canadian Prime Minister about human rights, the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia has made the decision to “immediately remove any and all statues of Justin Trudeau […]

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