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Unger the Influence

Daring Young Women Brave Enough to Wave Canadian Flag in Nation’s Capital

July 9, 2023 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Two young women, Beatrice Penner, 21, and Agatha Plett, 24, braved the streets of Toronto earlier this week to show off their nation’s colours. “I was worried people would think we were the […]

Unger Suspicion

Crazy Unpatriotic Canadian Celebrates 4th of July Three Days Early

July 1, 2019 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON Concerned citizen Mr. Yoder of Lancaster is livid this week after discovering that Canadians celebrate the 4th of July a full three days early. “It’s disgusting! Those Canadians have no patriotism at all!” […]

Unger Suspicion

Canada Day Ruined as Stoned Singer Totally Butchers ‘Oh Canada’

July 1, 2018 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Thousands gathered in Ottawa today to celebrate the nation’s birthday. However, more than a few people, including one of the anthem singers, were in the city to celebrate a little more than just […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Church Boycotts ‘Sexy Centennial’ Celebrations

July 1, 2017 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB As Canadians gather today to celebrate 150 years of nationhood, members of a small town Mennonite church will not be participating in the festivities. “I don’t know what the heck this ‘sexy-centennial’ […]

The Daily Bonnet

What Are the 150 Most Significant Moments in Canadian Mennonite History?

June 30, 2017 Andrew

Canada turns 150 years old tomorrow, so the Daily Bonnet has compiled a list of the 150 50 great, and not-so-great, moments in Canadian Mennonite history. These are all real (not satire) and in chronological order. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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