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Unger Games

Edmonton Elks to Face the Calgary Grammar Police in Season Opener

June 13, 2021 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB The Edmonton Elks will face the Calgary Grammar Police in the CFL season opener on August 6 at Commonwealth Stadium. “It’ll be a battle for the ages as the Calgary Grammar Police will […]

Unger Suspicion

“What is this – Calgary?” Winnipeg Man Can’t Figure Out Warm Holiday Temperatures

December 28, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After temperatures soared into the single digits below zero, (Okay, Americans, I mean just below zero Celsius), North Kildonan resident Peter Wiens decided to strip to his undies and take a nice swim […]

Unger Suspicion

Cal-gary Man Insists He’s from ‘Calgree’

November 13, 2019 Andrew

CAL-GARY, AB Local man and faithful Mennonite church attendee Jeremy Goerzen, 41, has lived in the Whitehorn neighbourhood of Northeast Cal-gary his entire life, yet for some strange reason he still insists on calling the […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Loops Parking Lot for an Hour to Avoid Paying for Parking

January 12, 2019 Andrew

CALGARY, AB Local man Jeremy Goerzen, 39, was picking up his friends at the airport who were visiting from Manitoba. Unfortunately the flight was delayed and so, instead, of paying ten dollars to park, Jeremy […]

Unger Suspicion

Blue Bombers Proudly Hoist ‘Sunday School Attendance’ Trophy

November 18, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After a loss to the Calgary Stampeders this afternoon, the Winnipeg Blue Bomber season has come to an end yet again, and yet again this year, the club is excited to have achieved […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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