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Unger Conviction

Mennonite Pastors Release New ‘Tracing App’ that Tracks How Much Time You’ve Spent Reading the Bible

May 30, 2020 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC Concerned pastors in the Abbotsford area have hired a local tech firm to create an app that traces how much contact each member of their congregation has had with the Word of God. […]

Unger Conviction

Bible School Expands ‘Six Inch Rule’ to ‘Six Foot Rule’

March 15, 2020 Andrew

FOUR MOUNTAINS, BC A local Bible school is taking drastic measures to prevent the spread of the pandemic by expanding the six-inch buffer zone between opposite-gender students to a full six feet. “We’ve always taken […]

Unger Conviction

First Mennonite Church Shall Become Last

March 11, 2020 Andrew

ROSENHOF, MB In an effort to appear more humble the First Mennonite Church of Rosenhof is changing its name to the Last Mennonite Church of Rosenhof. “We’re proud of how humble we are,” said Pastor […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Man Leaves Generous Tip of Two Gospel Tracts

March 5, 2020 Andrew

KIDRON, OH A waitress at a coffee shop in Kidron was excited by the generous tip left by one of her patrons this morning. After ordering two slices of toast and a glass of orange […]

Unger Suspicion

Joel Osteen Releases New ‘Red Letter Edition’ of His Latest Book

February 24, 2020 Andrew

GRAND RAPIDS, MI In many Bibles, red letters denote the words of Jesus Christ of Nazareth. Now, however, they’ll be used to denote the words of inexplicably popular Texas preacher Joel Osteen, who has decided to […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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