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The Daily Bonnet

Local Mom Suspended For Teaching Evolution in Home School

December 3, 2017 Andrew

AYLMER, ON Local home school teacher and mother of eight, Janet Kehler of Aylmer, has been suspended from teaching her own children after giving a particularly riveting lesson on Darwinian evolution last Friday. “It was […]

The Daily Bonnet

A Post that is Certain to Please Absolutely Everyone

November 11, 2017 Andrew

I’ve learned that there are certain issues that generate considerable controversy in Mennonite circles: corn syrup vs. Roger’s golden syrup, Swiss vs. Dutch, Winkler vs. Steinbach, hymns vs. crappy repetitive contemporary worship songs. However, the […]

The Daily Bonnet

Religious Bumper Stickers Causing Accidents All Over Southern Manitoba

March 6, 2017 Andrew

WINKLER, MB A legion of bumper sticker-laden pickup trucks and minivans across southern Manitoba are causing traffic accidents throughout the region as people strain to read the Bible verses or inspirational messages. “I was just reading […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Man Brushes Up on His German to Read the Bible in Its ‘Original Language’

March 3, 2017 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON Tired of the notoriously unreliable English translations, local man John B. Kornelsen of Kitchener has been relearning German in order to read the Bible in its original script. “You can’t rely on these […]

Uncategorized

National Hotel Chain to Replace Gideon Bibles With ‘The God Delusion’

February 18, 2017 Andrew

HARRISON, NY According to a recently-leaked company memo, all 200+ locations of mid-range hotel chain StayzInn, will be removing their Gideon Bibles at the end of the month and will replace them with copies of Richard […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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