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Unger Suspicion

Conservatives Run Actual Donkey in Mennonite Town, Still Confident of Victory

October 17, 2019 Andrew

KLEINESCHANTZENFELD, SK So confident in the partisan loyalty of Mennonite voters, the Conservative Party of Canada ran a literal donkey in the small Mennonite town of Kleineschantzenfeld and still expect to win 87% of the […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Man Blames the Clintons for the ‘Suspicious Death’ of His Prized Sheep Molly

August 13, 2019 Andrew

BIRD-IN-HAND, PA A Mennonite man who wishes to remain anonymous (for obvious reasons) is blaming the Clintons for the mysterious death of his prized sheep and long-time companion Molly. “I don’t know what to say, […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Farmer Sausage Recipe Calls for 30 to 50 Feral Hogs

August 7, 2019 Andrew

A recently uncovered recipe for traditional Mennonite farmer sausage calls for “30 to 50 feral hogs.” The document, translated from Plautdietsch, and found jammed into a hymn book at the local Bergthaler church, is believed […]

The Daily Bonnet

Local Dog Makes Huge Mess Just to Irritate Owner

April 25, 2019 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Local dog Pieta Wiens, 7 (or 49 in dog years), decided to really give it his all at the park this past Sunday. Pieta made quite the mess and left owner Dietrich Wiens […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Drills Ice-Fishing Hole in Kitchen Floor

February 8, 2019 Andrew

KLEEFELD, MB Mrs. Hiebert was “completely unimpressed” with the hole her husband had drilled in the kitchen floor when she came home from Bible Study on Wednesday night. “He says he’s ice-fishing,” said Mrs. Hiebert. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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