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amish

Unger Games

Amish Win Gold in Olympic Barn Raising Competition

August 27, 2021 Andrew

TOKYO, JAPAN A team of Schwartzenhersbergertruberschmidts swept the medals at the Barn Raising competition at this year’s Olympic Games. “We placed first, second, and third, though that was mostly because the Mennonites failed the drug […]

Unger Suspicion

Rumspringa 2021 Not Nearly as Wild as Amish Boy was Hoping For

March 3, 2021 Andrew

INTERCOURSE, PA Young Caleb Hershberger of Intercourse was really looking forward to getting out into the wild world of the English during his rumspringa this year, but so far he’s been totally disappointed. “Dunner uns […]

Unger Suspicion

Google Searches for “How to Become Amish” Surge During Presidential Debate

October 1, 2020 Andrew

HOLMES COUNTY, OH Aghast at the dismal prospects for life in mainstream American society, millions of Americans are apparently considering joining the Amish. “During the debate we saw a huge surge in ‘how to move […]

Unger Suspicion

‘Amish Village at Night’ as Seen from International Space Station

May 9, 2020 Andrew

INTERCOURSE, PA The International Space Station has just posted stunning new photographs of a small Pennsylvania Amish village. “It’s amazing all the detail you can see from that distance,” said space station director Yuri Baranov. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Couple to Replace Harry and Meghan at Buckingham Palace

January 13, 2020 Andrew

LONDON, UK After Harry and Meghan decided to call it quits on the royal family, a generous family of Mennonites from Holmes County have agreed to take their place at Buckingham Palace. “As Anabaptists, we’re […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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