TOKYO, JAPAN A team of Schwartzenhersbergertruberschmidts swept the medals at the Barn Raising competition at this year’s Olympic Games. “We placed first, second, and third, though that was mostly because the Mennonites failed the drug […]
INTERCOURSE, PA Young Caleb Hershberger of Intercourse was really looking forward to getting out into the wild world of the English during his rumspringa this year, but so far he’s been totally disappointed. “Dunner uns […]
SAN FRANCISCO, CA Social media giant Twitter has hired a bunch of Amish to do what only Amish (and maybe a few Mennonites) can do: shun Trump. “We haven’t done a shunning in a while, […]
HOLMES COUNTY, OH Aghast at the dismal prospects for life in mainstream American society, millions of Americans are apparently considering joining the Amish. “During the debate we saw a huge surge in ‘how to move […]
WASHINGTON, DC It seems the vacant Supreme Court spot has been filled much quicker than expected, as Trump and his Republican majority Senate rushed to approve the only nominee they knew they would have no […]
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