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Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Banished From Town After Choosing the Sweet Pickles

August 1, 2022 Andrew

TOFIELD, AB Area man Todd Sawatzky has lost the respect of everyone in all of Tofield this week after he piled his plate with bread and butter pickles instead of the good ones. “Waut de […]

Unger Suspicion

Jason Kenney Quits Politics to Become One of Those Wacko Street Preachers

May 22, 2022 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB Days after announcing his resignation as Premier of Alberta, Jason Kenney has announced he will spend the rest of his days yelling evangelistic messages on the street corners of major Alberta cities. “Just […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Child Wondering Why We’re Singing All These Songs About Calgary this Time of Year

April 16, 2022 Andrew

OSLER, SK Easter is a confusing time for Mennonite children across the Canadian prairies as, for some reason, we’re all singing songs about Calgary, Alberta again. One such affected child is little Lisa Braun, 9, […]

Unger Suspicion

Justin Trudeau Among 313 Canadians Banned from “Going Anywhere Near Alberta”

March 18, 2022 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB Justin Trudeau was at the top of a list of 313 Canadians banned from going “within a hundred kilometers” of Alberta. “We don’t want him wearing a Flames jersey either,” said Calgary man […]

Unger & Thirst

Manitoba Sends Emergency Supply of Farmer Sausage to Alberta

September 20, 2021 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB Cargo trains of farmer sausage have been loaded up in Winnipeg and are on their way to Edmonton this week after a massive sausage shortage struck the oil-rich province. “They always say Manitoba’s […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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