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age

Unger Suspicion

Court Rules 69-Year-Old Dutch Man is Actually a ‘Whiny Little Toddler’

December 4, 2018 Andrew

ARNHEM, NETHERLANDS A Dutch court has ruled today that local senior Milan Ratelbrand, 69, is actually legally “one-and-half years old, or two at best.” Ratelbrand had sued the government to have his age lowered by […]

Quizzes

Can We Guess Your Age? (For Mennonites)

May 18, 2018 Andrew

You can’t really hide it. Those Botox injections are not fooling anyone. I have no idea how accurate this will be, but we’ve compiled some questions for Mennos that should be able to determine approximately […]

The Daily Bonnet

Fight the Seven Signs of Mennonite Aging

April 9, 2018 Andrew

We all change as we get older, but that doesn’t mean you have to become your parents. Here are the Daily Bonnet, we’re committed to helping you identify and fight the seven signs of aging…for […]

Unger Suspicion

Kurt Cobain Would be the Same Age as Your Uncle Peter Today

February 20, 2017 Andrew

SEATTLE, WA Legendary Nirvana frontman Kurt Cobain would be fifty years old today, which is exactly the same age as your Uncle Peter who works at the local chicken hatchery. “I always thought of Uncle […]

The Daily Bonnet

World’s Oldest Living Mennonite Fondly Reminisces About the 1908 World Series

November 3, 2016 Andrew

CHICAGO, IL Henry Baerg, who turned 114 in September, has not followed baseball much in the last 90 years or so, but fondly recalls the last time the Chicago Cubs won the World Series. “Oba, […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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