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Unger the Influence

Rolling Stones Announce New More Youthful Lead Singer Joe Biden

July 21, 2024 Andrew

LONDON, UK It didn’t take long for President Joe Biden to find a new job–lead singer of legendary rock band The Rolling Stones. “You can’t always get what you want and Mick was getting long […]

Unger Suspicion

Young People Wonder Just What Kind of World They’re Leaving for Willie Nelson and Keith Richards

May 1, 2021 Andrew

SEMINOLE, TX As environmental destruction seems to be increasing every day, young people across America are concerned about what kind of a world they’re going to leave for Willie Nelson and Keith Richards. “When you […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Worried He Might Be Getting Old as He’s Finally Developed a Taste for Borscht

March 18, 2021 Andrew

KLEEFELD, MB After a childhood of utter repulsion at the sight of cabbage borscht, 22-year-old Thomas Plett of Kleefeld has finally developed a taste for the stuff. “I’m not sure what did it,” said Plett. […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man is Literally ‘Older than Sliced Bread’

March 11, 2021 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Sliced bread was introduced to the market in 1928. This makes Mr. Peter Wiebe, 93, of Winkler literally “older than sliced bread.” “Oba, I’m older than sliced bread and my wife Annie is […]

The Daily Bonnet

40-Year-Old Mennonite Man Still Called “Junge”

August 13, 2020 Andrew

GRETNA, MB A local real estate attorney, who just turned 40 this week, is still called “junge” by all the elderly Mennonites at his church, likely due to the fact he’s unmarried and keeps his […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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