The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger

abes

The Daily Bonnet

“Don’t Put All Your Abes in One Basket”: 10 Mennonite Idioms

October 28, 2021 Andrew

Since the publication of Poor Obrum’s Almanack by Benjamin Friesen in 1732, these Abe-related idioms have become part of Mennonite discourse. They’re recited to children before bed and frequently overheard in conversation at MJ’s. Be warned, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Open Casting Call in Winkler for New ‘Planet of the Abes’ Movie

December 3, 2019 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Abes across the Pembina Valley will be flocking to the parking lot at the EMBCC church this weekend to have a chance to take part in the new ‘Planet of the Abes’ movie. […]

The Daily Bonnet

‘Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Abes’ Opens in Mennonite Town

January 17, 2019 Andrew

NEW BOTHWELL, MB The SPCA is expanding its reach by opening up a branch in the small Mennonite town of New Bothwell. The goal of the new society is to make sure area Abes are […]

The Daily Bonnet

Breaking News! No Abes Running for Steinbach City Council this Term!

September 30, 2018 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB It’s the most shocking revelation of the 2018 campaign season: for the first time in Steinbach history, the list of city council candidates is completely Abe-less. Instead the list of candidates includes an […]

The Daily Bonnet

Evolutionist Proves Mennonites are Descended from Abes

July 21, 2018 Andrew

DRUMHELLER, AB Scientists at the Friesen Academy of Science, Platz, and Aniseed (FASPA) have uncovered conclusive evidence that proves the evolution of Mennonites from our ancestors the Abes. “Sometime millions of years ago in the […]

Posts pagination

1 2 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • 2018 Daily Bonnet Year in Review
    December 31, 2018
  • Corny vs. Menno? Which name do you hear?
    May 19, 2018
  • Local Bible College Records First Nasty Breakup of the Year
    September 1, 2024
  • McCartney Cancels Show in Mennonite Town Over Lack of Vegetarian Options
    July 21, 2017
  • Mennonite Woman Caught Shopping on a Sunday
    July 13, 2017

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2025 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved