GOESSEL, KS
Days after launching a controversial new ad campaign for American Eagle, actress Sydney Sweeney has decided to retire to a simpler life on the farm.
“At least no one will accuse me of being too sexy,” said Sweeney, already donning her new attire. “The thing is, I can’t figure it out. Even in this ankle-length dress, I still have all these Kansas boys hitting on me.”
What drew her to the Mennonite community was their very strict prohibition against wearing denim jeans.
“I sure don’t need that controversy all over again,” said Sweeney. “I mean, I highly doubt American Eagle will ask me pose under the slogan ‘It’s all in the long thick floral-pattern dress made from the living room curtains.'”
Already feeling quite comfortable in the community, the 27-year-old has also announced she’ll be going by the name of Sydney Sawatzky from now on.
(photo credit: by torbakhopper/CC)
