Study Reveals 70% of Mennonites Don’t Know All the Dance Moves to Hymn 606


A new study out of Southeastern Mennonite University has revealed that a shocking 70% of Mennonites no longer know all the dance moves to Hymn 606.

“It’s a shame,” said Mennonite anthropologist and dance enthusiast Dr. Hurst. “There was a time when every Mennonite child was taught all the dance moves to every hymn in the book, but these days that’s just not a priority. Our culture is being lost…”

Dr. Hurst believes that churches should put more emphasis on dance instruction in Sunday School.

“No one should go through a year of Mennonite Sunday School without solid instruction in dancing to 606 and a few lessons on martyrs,” said Hurst. “Praise God from whom all blessings flow…and shake your booty doing it!”

Traditionalists were horrified by the study and hope to remedy the situation.

“Young people these days don’t know anything about all our Mennonite traditions. Pacifism. Cheese consumption. And dancing the Charleston to 606!” said Mrs. Miller. “What is this world coming to?”

There already is some talk that the new revised Mennonite hymnal will eliminate all the responsive readings, which no one was doing anyway, and replace them with visuals to illustrate and teach all the dance moves.

(photo credit: odditi/CC)

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HOFer Gary Bettman was Winnipeg Jets Leading Scorer from 1997-2010