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The Daily Bonnet

‘Three King’s Day’ Cripples Winkler Economy

January 7, 2017 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Local economist Peter Froese estimates that more than $40 million was drained from the Winkler economy yesterday due to the annual Three King’s Day shut-down. “No one knows what the heck this holiday is even […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Lady Caught Turning Around Risqué Magazine Covers

January 6, 2017 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON Local woman Annie Loewen, 73, was arrested yesterday at the local Shopper’s Drug Mart after turning over a particularly provocative cover of Vogue magazine that she found offensive. “We’ve had this problem ever […]

The Daily Bonnet

Grandma Penner’s VCR: Rewinding ‘Dr. Zhivago’ Since 1988

January 6, 2017 Andrew

BLUMENORT, MB Grandma Penner’s VHS copy of the Siberian epic film Dr. Zhivago has been rewinding in her VCR since the late 1980s and her grandchildren, now grown with children of their own, are excited […]

The Daily Bonnet

Fiery Romance Ignites in Daily Bonnet Comment Section

January 5, 2017 Andrew

GNADENFELD, MB Days after discovering their common interest in Mennonite satire, Daily Bonnet readers Martha of Gnadenfeld and Abe of nearby Schönenberg decided they would meet at MJs Kafe in Steinbach “to see if this might […]

The Daily Bonnet

Meet Jessica, Winkler Area’s First Newborn Calf of 2017

January 5, 2017 Andrew

WINKLER, MB A Winkler family welcomed the local area’s first calf of 2017, born just after midnight last night. Little Jessica the cow was born at 12:08 am at the local Animal Hospital. She is the […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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