GOSHEN, IN After a totally exhausting Presidential election campaign, millions of Mennonites across America are returning to their farms, claiming they are “done with politics, like, forever.” “I’m plum tuckered out,” said Henry Willems, shovelling cow […]
DAYTON, VA After just seventeen votes counted, CNN reports that Reverend Johan Wisler has a commanding lead for Presidency of the United States. “This is a complete shocker,” said CNN’s Wolf Blitzer. “Based on these […]
PARIS, TX In a potentially historic election, American voters will head to the polls today to select the new Lesser Evil of the United States. “I’m confused,” said local rancher and undecided voter Dwight Owens, 37, of […]
LANDMARK, MB Due to lower birth rates and immigration from non-Mennonite sources, the small town of Landmark, Manitoba, once known for its abundance of Pletts, is on pace to be completely Plett-free by the year […]
VOLLWERK, MB Due to Daylight Savings Time, Mennonites throughout North America will be turning back the clock an entire century tonight at 2 am. “I’m glad to see that people want to go back in […]
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