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The Daily Bonnet

Loewen Windows Employee to Marry Barkman Concrete Employee

April 10, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB For the first time in Steinbach history, employees of two of the town’s most storied and successful companies have found love in each other’s arms. “There was a time when you’d have never […]

Unger Conviction

Hip New Church Bulletin Goes All Comic Sans

April 9, 2017 Andrew

WINKLER, MB The Winkler MCEMB Church board voted 6-1 to approve the use of a hip new font on their church bulletins called ‘Comic Sans.’ “We’re expecting big crowds at our services from now on,” […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Town Eagerly Anticipates Spanish Man’s Arrival

April 9, 2017 Andrew

STRASSBURG, MB Members of a tiny church in Strassburg, Manitoba have been laying out palm branches on the street in anticipation of the arrival of Winnipeg resident and estate lawyer Jesus Hernandez. “I can’t believe Jesus […]

Unger Suspicion

Perhaps the Most Important Words Ever Written About War…

April 8, 2017 Andrew

This isn’t satire: “WAR is a racket. It always has been. It is possibly the oldest, easily the most profitable, surely the most vicious. It is the only one international in scope. It is the […]

The Daily Bonnet

Gangs of Rebellious Seniors Invade Steinbach on Their ‘Kick Ass Harleys’

April 8, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Ever since the snow melted this spring, mobility scooters have been out in full force in Steinbach, as gangs of wily Mennonite seniors take over the city. “We were too badass for the […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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