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The Daily Bonnet

Local Restaurant Prefers Canoes to Mennonites

February 20, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB A local home-style restaurant has started a new marketing strategy aimed at attracting a new kind of customer: canoes. Restaurant owner Bart B. Bueckert says he much prefers canoes to his usual Mennonite clientele. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Superstore Lot Fills Up With Liquor Mart Customers

February 19, 2017 Andrew

EAST VILLAGE, MB Every evening the local Superstore parking lot fills up with dozens of vehicles belonging to people who don’t want their cars seen in the Liquor Mart parking lot. “I park at Superstore, run a few […]

Uncategorized

National Hotel Chain to Replace Gideon Bibles With ‘The God Delusion’

February 18, 2017 Andrew

HARRISON, NY According to a recently-leaked company memo, all 200+ locations of mid-range hotel chain StayzInn, will be removing their Gideon Bibles at the end of the month and will replace them with copies of Richard […]

The Daily Bonnet

Harry Dyck Considers Name Change

February 18, 2017 Andrew

SCHONTAL, MB After years on the farm without a care in the world, retired dairy farmer, Mr. Harry A. Dyck of the Schonthal area, is now seriously considering a name change. “My friends are giving me mixed […]

The Daily Bonnet

Abes Treatment Centre Opens in Winkler

February 17, 2017 Andrew

WINKLER, MB A new Abes treatment centre has opened up on the highway between Morden and Winkler. The hope is that convenient access to medical help will prevent Abes from spreading beyond the Pembina Valley. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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