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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Banned from Saying ‘Oba’

December 23, 2016 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON A new federal law that forbids Mennonites from saying ‘oba‘ has come under fierce opposition from the Canadian Mennonite community. “Oba, this law makes just no sense,” said Pastor Art Harms of Leamington, Ontario. “Oba […]

The Daily Bonnet

Altona Man Begins Christmas Shopping Early This Year

December 23, 2016 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Mr. Peter Sawatzky of the Altona area got a head start on his Christmas shopping this year as he rushed to the Altona 10,000 Villages store today to buy some fair trade coffee […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Grandmas Frantically Fill Paper Bags with Peanuts

December 22, 2016 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Grandmothers throughout southern Manitoba have been working in shifts at a local factory to fill tens of thousands of paper bags with peanuts in time for upcoming Christmas gatherings. The paper bags, also […]

The Daily Bonnet

Let’s Face it, You’re Probably Getting Socks Again This Year

December 21, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Every year at this time young Mennonites around the world anticipate the annual giving and receiving of socks to commemorate the birth of the Saviour. “It’s the most disappointing time of the year,” […]

The Daily Bonnet

Local City Councillors Propose Budget of $0 For 2017

December 21, 2016 Andrew

EAST VILLAGE, MB “Oba, stuff shouldn’t cost so much yet.” So said a local councillor at last night’s city council meeting. In reaction to the utterly startling revelation that “things actually cost money,” a small faction […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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