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Unger Suspicion

Steinbach Residents Excited for Opening of New Petting Zoo on Main Street

May 6, 2018 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Families throughout Southeast Manitoba are waking up early this morning, trying to be first in line outside the new Giant Tiger on Main Street. “I got all the kids ready to go at […]

Unger & Thirst

8 Easy Mennonite Recipes for Your Hockey Playoff Parties

May 5, 2018 Andrew

Oba, so you thought you’d have a nice evening alone with your hubby, but Henry has invited all the church men over to watch the Jats game yet. They’re doing a lot of yelling and […]

Unger & Thirst

Penner Family Celebrates Cousin Peter’s Graduation from the Kid’s Table

May 4, 2018 Andrew

KLEEFELD, MB The Penner family of Kleefeld are proud to announce that Cousin Peter, who had, for many decades, been considered too immature to sit with the adults has been graduated to the adult table […]

Unger Suspicion

Winnipeg Hospitals Overrun With Jets-Related Heart Attacks

May 2, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After a narrow defeat in double overtime on Sunday, followed by a come-from-way-behind victory on Tuesday, Winnipeg hospitals are now filled to the brim with Jets-induced heart attack victims. “If this keeps up, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Union Demands 80 Hour Work Week

May 1, 2018 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN Mennonite Workers Local 606 walked off the job this past Friday, demanding that the work week be increased to 80 hours from the regular 40. The striking workers paraded around various Mennonite churches […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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