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Unger & Thirst

Adorable Mennonite Child Becomes Millionaire Selling Chocolates to Old People

March 25, 2018 Andrew

SOUTH BLUMENORT, MB 6-year-old Anna Berg of South Blumenort has become the region’s latest millionaire after selling a record number of chocolate-covered almonds to area seniors. While Mennonites have the reputation for being rather frugal, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Snags Best License Plate Ever! (This is real!)

March 24, 2018 Andrew

SANFORD, MB It isn’t often that the Daily Bonnet reports on something real, but here is a rare exception that was too good to pass up. Earlier today (March 2018) Jennifer Wiebe of Sanford, Manitoba […]

The Daily Bonnet

Stubborn Mennonite Man Refuses to Change Dead Bulb

March 24, 2018 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN A 40 watt lightbulb that burned out in March 1987 has remained in the ceiling of a Goshen area home for more than thirty years after Mr. Hochstetter, 69, adamantly refused to change […]

Unger & Thirst

Rhubarb-Flavoured Vaping All the Rage in Mennonite Country

March 23, 2018 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Mennonites across the Pembina Valley have been swapping out their cigarettes and yerba tea for rhubarb-flavoured e-cigarettes. Health officials, however, worry the trend might catch on with non-smokers as well. “Oba, when they […]

Unger & Thirst

Wild Night Ensues After Mennonite Woman Spikes Schoofly Pie

March 23, 2018 Andrew

LANCASTER, PA Mrs. Miller’s rum-soaked schoofly pie was a big hit at the church coffee and dessert event this past Sunday, as Mennonite seniors went back for seconds, thirds, and, in some cases, even fourths. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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