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Unger Suspicion

Saudi Arabia to Remove All Statues of Justin Trudeau

August 14, 2018 Andrew

RIYADH, SAUDI ARABIA After an online Twitter war with the Canadian Prime Minister about human rights, the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia has made the decision to “immediately remove any and all statues of Justin Trudeau […]

The Daily Bonnet

Study: ‘Not All Mennonites Are Dicks’

August 13, 2018 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON A new study from the University of Waterloo-Kitchener-Cambridge has revealed that, contrary to popular opinion, “not all Mennonites are Dicks.” “Far from it,” said study organizer Dr. Lehman. “In fact, if you include […]

Unger & Thirst

Three Hours Later, Mennonite Man Still Working on that Piece of Chokecherry Pie

August 12, 2018 Andrew

ROSETOWN, MB Late last night Mennonite man, Samuel Fehr, 35,  was spotted at a Rosetown picnic shelter working his way through a piece of Oma’s chokecherry pie. Authorities intevened when Fehr was still there after […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Beached on the Shores of Lake Winnipeg

August 11, 2018 Andrew

LAKE WINNIPEG, MB A 43-year-old man from over by Reinland somewheres was found beached on the shores of Lake Winnipeg this weekend. Thankfully locals were able to keep him hydrated with Rogers Golden Syrup while […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Folklorama Pavilion the Only One Without Booze or Dancing

August 10, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Folklorama, Winnipeg’s annual celebration of the city’s cultural diversity, is known for bringing the sights, tastes, and sounds of the world to the good people of Manitoba. The infamous Mennonite Pavilion, however, has […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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