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The Daily Bonnet

The Daily Bonnet is Running for Mayor of Steinbach: Here’s My Platform!

May 16, 2018 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB With long-serving mayor Chris Goertzen announcing he is not running for re-election in 2018, the Steinbach mayoral race is up for grabs. So far, current city councillors John Fehr and Earl Funk have […]

Unger Conviction

Unmarried Couple Caught Holding Hymnal Together

May 15, 2018 Andrew

FRESNO, CA An unmarried couple at South Fresno Mennonite are facing intense scrutiny after they were caught grasping opposite corners of the same hymnal during a rousing rendition of ‘Blessed Assurance’ this past Sunday. The […]

Unger Suspicion

Carrie Underwood Spotted Busking for Spare Change Outside Winnipeg Jets Arena

May 14, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Barefoot Nashville Predators  Vegas Knights fan Carrie Underwood was spotted busking for spare change outside the Winnipeg Jets street party on Saturday. After a devastating loss by her husband’s team, the grumpy country […]

The Daily Bonnet

‘State of Emergency’ Declared at Steinbach Garage Sale Riot

May 13, 2018 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Prime Minister Trudeau has followed in his father’s footsteps and invoked the War Measures Act to deal with the increasing hostility during garage sales in the small Mennonite town of Steinbach, Manitoba. In […]

Unger & Thirst

Whose Mennonite Mom Makes the Best Perogies?

May 13, 2018 Andrew

For centuries Mennonites have ferociously defended their own mother’s cooking, claiming her vereniki were soft, more delicate, more flavourful, or held together better than all the other Mennonite moms out there. Well, today, we’re going […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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