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The Daily Bonnet

Last Remaining Man at Senior’s Home Has Women Scrambling for His Attention

January 16, 2019 Andrew

AYLMER, ON At 88 years young, Mr. George Wiebe is the last man standing at the Aylmer Menno Home. While he does occasionally miss the chance to talk about the price of hogs these days […]

The Daily Bonnet

Puerto Vallarta to Be Renamed ‘Little Winkler’

January 15, 2019 Andrew

PUERTO VALLARTA, MEXICO After nearly two-thirds of the Winkler population vacated their homes and showed up on a charter flight to Puerto Vallerta this past week, the mayor of the Mexican resort town has decided […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church Shut Down Has Anabaptists Reluctantly Attending Episcopal Churches

January 14, 2019 Andrew

HARRISONBURG, VA A nationwide Mennonite church shut down, now the longest in U.S. history, has Anabaptists scrambling to figure out “where the heck we’re going to worship on Sunday morning.” Most have decided to give […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Still Writing Her Cheques for 2018

January 13, 2019 Andrew

PLUM COULEE, MB The Plum Coulee Credit Union is just about fed up with Mrs. Friesen’s cheques dated to January 2018. Credit Union staff has warned her on numerous occasions to “get with the times” […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Loops Parking Lot for an Hour to Avoid Paying for Parking

January 12, 2019 Andrew

CALGARY, AB Local man Jeremy Goerzen, 39, was picking up his friends at the airport who were visiting from Manitoba. Unfortunately the flight was delayed and so, instead, of paying ten dollars to park, Jeremy […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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