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The Daily Bonnet

Cairn to Honour Steinbach’s Founder St. Einbach

September 3, 2018 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB A local history committee has decided it was about time there was some acknowledgement of Steinbach’s patron saint and founder St. Einbach. A large cairn depicting St. Einbach, riding a traditional Mennonite chariot, […]

Unger Suspicion

Ken Ham and Kent Hovind to Guest Star in Series Finale of ‘The Big Bang Theory’

September 2, 2018 Andrew

HOLLYWOOD, CA Stars of the literal 6-day creationist world will square off against a bunch of fictional physicists in the series finale of hit sitcom ‘The Big Bang Theory’ later this year. “We’re so excited […]

Unger Conviction

Report: Shallow Repetitive Worship Songs More Pleasing to the Lord than Hymns

September 2, 2018 Andrew

LANCASTER, PA A report out of the University of Southern Lancaster suggests that really shallow, repetitive, self-indulgent ‘Praise and Worship’ songs are a full 20% more pleasing to the Lord than the boring old hymns. “I’m pretty […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Judges to Score Miss America Swimsuit Competition

September 1, 2018 Andrew

LAS VEGAS, NV For the first time since the pagent began almost 100 years ago, Miss America’s swimsuit competition will be judged exclusively by a panel of Mennonite church deacons. “Our criteria may be a little […]

The Daily Bonnet

Local Man’s Hilarious Wikipedia Edit About Mennonites Goes Unnoticed for Six Years

August 31, 2018 Andrew

WATERLOO, ON Back in the winter of 2012, then Conrad Grebel student, Jakob Klassen, 23, of Aylmer edited the Wikipedia page about Mennonites to include numerous hilarious but erroneous bits of information. Klassen was shocked […]

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